Give us this day our daily bread...

Immediately following the Earthquake it became apparent that food was going to be an issue. While Shelley patrolled our neighborhood to find wounded people, I began to cook food for all the people that would be staying at our house. Our 35 gallon Propane tank had fallen over during the earthquake, hissing from a cracked valve knob until the violent shaking stopped and I ran to shut off the tank. Some of our neighbors helped me carry the barbecue down from our roof and I began cooking food for those who would arrive at our house. This didn't stop for about a week. We fed about 30 people 3 square meals, cooked entirely on our barbecue for a whole week, and the little propane tank never ran out of gas. We cooked through everything in our freezers and cupboards. Shelley and the kids left for the states around the time that Scott Salvant showed up at our house with a new propane tank for our indoor stove. Around the same time some of the markets began to open and most people had long since eaten the food they had in their homes... or their rubble.

The artisans would show up at the house, very thankful to see food, but saddened that their neighborhoods were starving. And then, when I got a chance to get online at the Quisqueya Christian School campus (Thank you CRI and Sean Blesh!) I was able to see the massive donations coming in through our website. I had very little cash left and many banks had fallen during the earthquake, including the grocery stores that many missionaries use as banks because of their relative safety and inconspicuousness. I gathered what little cash I had and prepared to set out to the one market I had heard had opened, intending to buy as much food as I could. Then I remembered that Shelley kept an Apparent Project checkbook at the house. I grabbed it hoping and praying that this market would take checks, despite the chaos and hunger and relative ease with which a check holder can lie about funds. The market agreed to take my checks! This opened up a door for us to use the donations coming in online to purchase food here in Haiti without a bank. This banking crisis, by the way, is one of the chief reasons why Haitians are starving after the earthquake... there is plenty of food, just no way to buy it.

I bought about $1,000 worth of food a day for the first week until I saw other aid being distributed. The larger distributors, like the UN and US AID were still setting up shop, working through red tape, and trying to get a station for operations going. Meanwhile, people were hungry and violence broke out in some areas because of fear and greed. I knew that getting food out in the slums was about more than just making people comfortable (aid would inevitably come), but a regular presence of food was also a way of promoting hope and peace during this already agitated situation.

As the UN began distributing food, it also became clear that their methodology (in my humble opinion) sucked. They were calling large groups together and then unloading massive bags of food from trucks. Nothing but chaos could be expected. CNN seems to delight in covering frenzied Haitian mobs, but, while I don't excuse the mobs, I think the method of distribution was partially at fault. People fought for food because fighting was the only way to get to the food in such a mass feeding. Anybody who has fed children at an orphanage could tell you that making a single line for food does not work when real hunger is present. Have the hungry people sit at a table and then serve them, otherwise there will be a fight. Similarly, the most peaceful distributions have been those that bring food to tents, homes, and shelters, one family at a time rather than making a single drop point for food. Haitians know this... when they organize themselves in their communities, this is what they do. Such small scale localized distributions also allow the distributor to give according to where the real hunger is. This requires pre-existing relationships of care and understanding of the culture, things that only Haitian community organizations, local churches, missionaries, and families are capable of. But with so many people to feed, I'm sure it seems more urgent to the aid agencies to just "get food out there" than to make sure it is not horded by the people powerful enough to push to the front of the line. What I see happening is that the people who need the food most desperately; like nursing mothers or people who are sick, traumatized, or maimed by the earthquake, are unwilling to wait in the sun in a line that they know they can't push to the front of. They stay home hungry, hoping that somebody might bring something back to them.



Apparently, in order to help make a more peaceful and orderly distribution, the UN is distributing cards the day before a food drop (the first in our neighborhood was yesterday). Only the people who have cards will get the food, and they have to wait in line. They get one 50 pound bag of rice (or apparently some get only half a bag.... which is still a LOT of rice. Many others wait in line, only to find out they needed a card. And nobody seems to be able to tell me what determines who gets a card or not. It seems to be arbitrary. The lucky people with the "golden ticket" have to parade their prized rice bag past a huge line of hungry people and get it home and hidden without getting hijacked. I heard of a lot of people fighting over the rice once they got back to their communities yesterday... SOO... it looks better on CNN, but it just takes the fighting off the screen and puts it into the heart of the communities.


Don't get me wrong... I literally sang the Hallelujah chorus when I saw the line for UN food in the street outside our house. They are saving lives. I have prayed that they would come and I thank God that they did. I can't personally feed this neighborhood alone. BUT that's the beauty of it. The body of Christ is really coming together in our neighborhood to get things done. Quisqueya Chapel, The T.L.C. Barefoot school, Maison de Limiere, and other missionaries and local churches have been joining hands to help and we're all getting more organized so that we're not missing a pocket of hungry people, overlooking a desperate need for tents or temporary housing, or some other such thing. We are figuring out who is gifted at what, who has which resources, and we're handing things over to each other to make this all more efficient and effective. We can't reach the whole country, but we are hoping there are other churches and families coming together in the same way in the spirit of Christ, to share and collaborate and find creative solutions. I think it's happening all over the country. It has to be.

When I found out that two of these groups were feeding the same people I was AND that the UN had come, I held back on food distribution until we could collaborate more effectively. The Clerville slums seem to be covered well, but Sinias, another nearby slum area, is really struggling. I will try to make another delivery there soon.

I was struck today, reading the opening verses of Ecclesiastes 11: "Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again. Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land. If clouds are full of water, they pour rain upon the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there will it lie." Basically this is saying that nature gives and gives freely without worrying about the efficiency or sufficiency of its giving, whether it will hurt the economy of the forest, whether its giving negatively impacts the gross national product, whether a tree falling on the ground will make the woodpeckers and termites lazy, etc. So for all my concern about doing things right and stewarding resources, etc. The bottom line is to trust God's provision and to have wide open hands and to give... Too often we polarize the truths of the word of God into a "Give to your enemies"/"Give all you have to the poor" camp VERSUS a "The man who does not work does not eat"/empowerment and stewardship camp. I'm beginning to think that when we make scriptures cancel each other out we're not reading our Bibles correctly. We ought to work AND empower AND give RADICALLY and with EXCELLENCE. Whether somebody uses our giving improperly, or even pours it out on the ground is not our business. In fact, I'm learning to see abuses of generosity as merely opportunities for us to let go of OUR "right" to be the hero through our giving... when we give, it is not about us. For this same reason we try to find ways that best help the recipients of our giving, but ultimately, there is not a single Scripture that holds us accountable for what others do with our gifts. We are responsible to give and to use what is given to us well, not to manage or try to control the recipients of our gifts. And right now is a great time to give food to Haitians, no matter how we do it.

But... just in case you wondered, this is how we do it: We use old cooking oil jugs and ice cream buckets to hold all the food together. We first put a recycled 20 oz. bottle of cooking oil (thanks US military for drinking lots of little bottles of water and juice) inside the hole, then we fill the rest with rice, beans, seasoning salts, an onion or garlic clove, matches, and some kind of vitamin enriched juice mix. Occasionally we throw in a candle, tobasco sauce, peanut butter, crackers, sardines, vienna sausages, or whatever other kind of food aid we have donated to us or can purchase cheaply. As you can tell, food aid can get pretty gourmet! For families with infants we check to see if they are breast feeding. If they are, we try to give the mother more vitamins, and if not we provide formula for the baby. This is by far the most necessary AND the most expensive thing we are distributing. Occasionally, if malnourishment seems apparent, we are giving Medica Mamba (thanks Troy Livesay) to families with small children. We are also filtering, treating, and distributing drinkable water on a limited basis (our cistern is almost dry). Nonfood items, such as diapers, toilet paper, and laundry soap are also going out in our little packages.



We distribute the packages through people who know the communities well. We are trying to be sensitive not to take business from street merchants, as they are the backbone of the economies in these villages. This is the most difficult part of the distribution process... the discernment to know how much to give in order to protect, but when to stop so as not to deflate the local economy. We are buying all of our food on the local economy, but mainly from the larger markets. Sometimes, when delivering food, if I can get enough Haitian money from cashing a check at the markets, I will buy all the food from the merchants on the street before distributing food to their community, and then just throw that purchased food in with the distribution, so they make the best sale of their lives while their community gets fed. Before we show up the merchants are loaded with edible goods, but nobody is buying (they have no money) and everybody is hungry.

We will continue to do this as long as we have donations, as long as it seems to be the best thing for our communities, and as long as it does not disenfranchise or take away from local business. Please continue to donate at www.apparentproject.org and PRAY AND FAST for our discernment and our resources. We want to feed the hungry AND be able to help reconstruct homes when the timing is right. With every jug or bag of food we give out we pray for miracles of multiplication and for God's continued sustaining hand to be present with each family. Please commit to pray with us. The President of Haiti has even called for 3 days of fasting and prayer during Carnival (Feb 12-14). Please join in fasting and praying for Haiti. Our idea of how to heal this mess is far inferior to God's!

www.acarydcross.wordpress.com

Please check out the link for our friend Jocelyn's journal who pretty much recorded the daily events at the Apparent Project house in Port au Prince over the last two weeks.

Blessings Abundant!

"Everything that can be shaken will be shaken"

If you want to know how to help RIGHT NOW, please skip to the bottom of this Blog. Below I am just giving my story of the earthquake and letting friends and family know what's going on.

Well, after days of trying to just secure survival for a handful of families, I have found an internet connection. I was amazed to find the computer lab at the school I work at unlocked, and my friend Shawn's Macbook Pro not only ON, but connected to the internet and not password protected. SO shawn, when you read this, thank you for your irresponsibility. There were 243 messages in my Email inbox, so this blog is my whopping Response. I don't know really where to start, so I'll start before the earthquake:

While preparing to go to school on tuesday I found the pants that I wanted to wear and noticed that they were (luckily) inside out. I went to invert them and felt a rubbery action-figure stuck in one of the pant legs. Thinking my son Zebedee had misplaced a toy I pushed it out with my hand only to find that it was actually a very scared and agile lizard. That is the only thing I remember about that day, other than all hell breaking loose at about 5:00. Shelley and I were debriefing our days at school and the beading program and walking through the house when our kitchen began spitting its contents onto the floor, shattering coffee mugs, hucking the water filter onto the floor, snapping the propane tank valves on our stove in half and just being altogether poltergeisty. We hurried to the back door of the kitchen, holding our adoptive Haitian babies and each other and watching the wall between our house and our neighbor's wobble like cellulite. We yelled out for Keziah and Zebedee, our biological children, and could not see them or hear them over the rumbling and crunching. When the quake stopped I ran and shut off the hissing propane tank and we went looking for our kids. Keziah was outside, and looking almost embarrassed by the awkwardness of the moment asked, "WHAT WAS THAT?" I said, "That was an earthquake.are you scared?" She said, "Yes!" I asked where Zebedee was and she said, "He wasn't scared, he went outside and started riding on his plastic motorcycle." At that moment Zebedee strolled up nonchalantly and asked the same question Keziah had, only a little more stoicly. (Later he would say, "Hey, if we all had helmets, we could RIDE the Orfquake!")

There were many of the poor Haitians who work with our program in the house when the quake hit. They were able to run outside and nobody got hurt, but we were soon to find that two of their houses had collapsed entirely, while others had had a few cinder blocks fall on family members. It was a good thing that the people at our house had been there when the quake came. Other than throwing almost everything on the floor and putting a few cracks in some of our walls, our house was well in tact. When we looked out our front gate we saw about a third of our neighbors cinder block exterior walls lying in the street, having fallen as one big panel.

We began to gather all of our Haitian friends at our house and find out who needed immediate aid. One of our beaders, Chrysaline, could not find her daughter and knew that she had been hit by falling bricks. She wailed in our driveway not knowing where to go to find her child. Others began to show up reporting wounded and lost family members while some of our beaders went to remove people from rubble. Some of our missionary friends set up an emergency room in their clinic down the street and they began taking the most "Grav" situations. We used our car to take people to this makeshift emergency unit, while people shred bed sheets and improvised to clean and treat wounds. There were people with severed limbs sitting in the street, but most people had scrapes, bruises, and simple fractures. We began taking these minor cases at our house, as we had quite a bit of medical supplies at home. Jocelyn (Carey) MacGreggor is at our house and she helped bandage the wounded and make a safe place for people to sit during the tremors that have continued even through today (Sunday). Families whose homes had collapsed came to stay with us as many houses continued to dangle in danger of toppling.

Haitians pray with hands waving and eyes open, much like the early church "orant" posture for prayer. The hills and streets were alive with waving hands, and above the wailing and weeping, we could hear many people saying "Meci Jezi, Meci Senye" (Thank you Jesus, Thank you Lord). Many others cried out loud prayers of repentance for all kinds of sins. Because houses were not safe, people had gathered on barren hills and local parks to pray and wait. It was amazing to see.

Knowing that most people were going to horde gas and that there are not very many ambulences in Haiti, I went out to find hurt people. Two of the largest hospitals collapsed, so the small missionary run hospitals like the one on our street run by Bill and Suzette Manasserro were the only hope for many, but because these were created in the aftermath of the quake, many people didn't know where to find this help. As I drove up Delmas the gravity of the tragedy really came home. I saw building after building crushed, and driving up to Delmas 60, an impoverished ravine near where we live (Where our friends Josue' and Emmanuel live) I saw a pile of houses with dead bodies strewn across the street. The neighborhood, which is built on a hillside, used to look like a grey Cinque Terra, now it is a heap of rubble in the bottom of a ravine. Richard, a Haitian who lives with us and whose family lost their house in the quake, helped me load our 4 runner up with as many wounded people as we could cram in, and we sprinted off to the Hospital on Delmas 33, one of the only standing hospitals.

When I arrived home Shelley and Joceleyn informed me that the end of our street has become a mass grave, with 25o buried there yesterday and more today. I'm smashing days into hours here, as the last few days have all seemed like one big long one.


There is a lot of weeping everywhere, and as this is really the first time I've processed anything (I've been in ER mode), this is the first time I think I have felt the emotional weight of this all. I have felt angry that many people who come here to help won't be able to tell the difference between what is normal Haiti and what has been hit by the quake. Haiti was in shambles before the earthquake, and for a very long time. And people made money off of that pain by being here, but didn't really do much observable good (i.e. the UN). I find myself thankful that people are going to pay attention to the cries here now, but I'm so deeply saddened by how big that cry is . I am even more thankful for those friends who came to help before. Maybe now is not the time to rant.... but I will say, the people making an impact are the small independent Christian missions, and not the big organizations (US Army, Red Cross, etc.) who are fighting red tape and ignorance of Haitian culture to try to help. Later, those big organizations will save many many lives, and their support will be absolutely necessary, but right now it's the small guys and the many many prayers coming this way that are making the difference. It will take the giant NGOs a while to set up to operate as they intend to.

I've not had access to TV or internet before just now, but I have heard that CNN and other major networks are not drawing attention to the spiritual and religious implications of this quake, so I will say something about that. One, I will say that EVERYBODY on the street in the midst of searching for food and water is having theological conversations. They typically sound something like this:

"God has hit us hard, he is so mad at us. We forgot him and he is mad at us"
"But he hit the church up the street too."
"But it was a bad church! It was a catholic Church!"
"But Father _____ loved God, that was his church."

(ecumenical compassion has not quite made its way to haiti yet... maybe now)

Or

"This has happened because we tell so many lies, because of voodoo, and because we have not trusted each other."

This is the kind of talk I hear in the street... not just at my house, or at the missions, but everywhere. The Powers have been hit hardest... the police, the palace, the banks, the markets, the UN, the places that tend to exploit poverty, use corruption, etc. These are crumbled in the streets, while many many homes stay standing. On a natural level, this is obviously because people with a lot of power have big buildings, but.... so did Babel. After praying for so long that orphans who were caught in a cycle of corupt dealings on the government level, for example, it looks like this earthquake is allowing orphans to go home this week who have been victims of governmental processes for 3 to 6 years. Walls and fears that separated neighbors are coming down. Missions that fought over doctrinal issues are coming out of their compounds to help each other help others.

So people, including myself, see significance in this. However you think of it, what is clear is that this situation demands theological reflection, or said less academically, everybody cries out to or at God in a situation like this.

This, however, is not an act of God, if you ask me. Here's my theological take from the middle of a disaster area:

Ezekiel 18:32 For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

While people are wounded and mangled and destroyed and die because of sin, it is not the desire of God. The anger of God has been sufficiently taken out on himself on the cross. The death of God is sufficient to appease him. He doesn't need people to die. His love, a Father's love, would rather take on hurt than see his children hurt. And He would rather avert his anger towards himself than destroy his kids. BUT, when people elect as king the killer, stealer, liar, accuser, and destroyer, then his (Satan's) reign is what they get. And in whatsoever way that we trust selfish ambition, bitterness, sensual seductions and all the other temptations of life over the sure and strong ground that Jesus has laid for our lives, we elect Satan to a place of power over us, our relationships, and our property. The powers in Haiti have consistently elected riches, power, abuse, poverty, and exploitation as king and this week, perhaps we see the fruit of this election, not as the wrath of God, but as the normal outworking of the reigning government. We also see the response of God in all the miraculous survivors, healings, and the benevolent aid and responses of people. And we see a re-vote as to who will be the prince of this world. Casting the vote for Jesus, as it were, however, means living as he has asked. But he is the knight in shining armor rescuing us from a tyrant king... He is NOT the tyrant king. As John says in one of his epistles "The world is under the control of the evil one". This is why Jesus asks us to pray that his kingdom would come on earth as it is in heaven.... because it's not fully here yet. One day, says the book of Hebrews, all of Jesus enemies, including death and natural disasters, will be put under his feet, but the battle is not over, and it is not against flesh and blood.

We still reap what we sow, we still suffer for sin, but we do so not under the judgement of God (If He wasn't satisfied by His own death, what could satisfy?), but under the rule of the powers that we have selected. Ultimately every knee will bow, and every tongue will say that Jesus is the very best president, all others are a painful and unequipped, or worse, a demonic second.

So while there is some twisted kind of justice in the suffering in Haiti when it comes to oppressive powers, and there is some immediate healing (in the adoption process, for example) there is also a whole lot of suffering that is just ridiculous and tragic, and all the pain of destruction is mourned by our Father God and he is visibly rallying His troops to oppose the hurt that is here. That is my take on it anyway, and I would never have come to Haiti in the first place if I didn't believe that... that we are still in a battle, each of us potentially overcoming some corner of evil from within the army of God, OR we are participating in evil through our apathy, laziness, selfishness, and unforgiveness.

As Bono said, "Put on your boots"

Or as Dylan said, "You gotta serve somebody"

OUR PLANS:

Right now our plans are to stay and help. We don't want to leave our babies or the families we work with behind, though if the orphan visas allow, we'd love to take a break to come see family if we can soon. Our language skills are indispensable for translating with aid workers right now, and our relationships and knowledge of the culture and geography also allow for us to provide aid that would not be replaced if we left. We are really depending on God's leading each day, and if we HAVE to leave, we have ways to get out and will.

HOW TO HELP

The VERY best way to help right now is to get food, water, and medical supplies to haiti. IT needs to come now. I don't know how to do that, but if you have an airplane, I do hear that the US has taken over the airport and is letting things through.

The second best thing would be to give money to SMALL non-profit organizations like ours (The APparent Project), the Livesays, Real Hope for Haiti, Heartline ministries, or people like that. Make sure they are staying in country first. Many missionaries are evacuating, at which point your donations don't get to the need as quickly. Later, say in a month or two, the larger organizations like UNICEF, etc. will need the financial support to keep the larger organized efforts afloat, but until they really get set up and committed, its more immediately helpful to give to the small guys. The truth is, as aid comes in, without order and police, the aid will turn into a kind of black market, and what was supposed to be free food and water will be capitalized on by gangs, etc. This is what has happened in the past with Hurricane relief. There will probably be riots, etc. so if benevolent people in relationship with the poor have enough money to buy the aid from these markets they will know the culture better and know how to distribute the stuff with less violence, smaller, more local distributions, etc. IT is also important, obviously, to communicate with the large aid distributors about the location of these smaller local points of distribution, as they can avoid doing large food drops in public places and instead get the food to lots of smaller distribution locations.

Fast and PRAY for peace in Haiti while you also pray for food, water, medical help, and some kind of structure to return here. There is a lot of fear developing and hunger makes people do crazy things. Fast for us please. Contribute what you conserve by fasting.

So to recap: Donate heavily to small organizations now (use google to find them)

and then donate to the bigger people and organize trips to Haiti to help in the following months (BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN BE SELF SUSTAINED WHILE HERE!) All aid workers need to bring their own food and water for the duration of their stay, otherwise they are literally making the problem much worse.

I'm not sure when I will be able to get online again. I currently have to climb about a mile uphill up to the school to check email, so please keep us in your prayers, send whatever kinds of support you can, and tell others to join in the effort. Pilots, doctors, nurses, nutritionists, people who can bring food and water... COME!

May His Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.

Blessings,

Corrigan Clay

P.S> I love you mom!

Groucho Marx Glasses and Bandaids

Among the new and old things that I have learned is that both bandaids and Groucho Marx glasses were crafted with white people in mind. But it sure was hilarious to see our 14 beaders and jewelry makers sporting them for our first annual Christmas party! We had such a great time. In my mind, we were going to have a low key, casual time of food and fellowship. Knowing how rare it is that these ladies get a full belly, we hired Richard's mom, the local street vendor and prepared the works! Rice, beans, fried plantains, fried chicken, vegetable sauce, cookies, candycanes, and a bucket full of pinata stuffers for the kids. What I didn't expect was how seriously these women took parties! They showed up looking like rock stars! I sat sheepishly in my jeans while they, dressed to the hilt, took turns singing Christmas carols acapella like nobodies business. After the food and fun, we gave them each a Christmas gift packed inside a plastic basket. Of course they all decided to put the baskets on their heads and pose for the pictures. ( Need to upload a couple of those, as they are a riot!). It was a great day and one that I don't think the ladies will forget when next Christmas rolls around.

So what's new in the new year?? A lot!

We now have a storfront for selling jewelry in our house! It is proving to be a hit with the short term missions teams and people that come over for haircuts from Shelley. One short term missions team can bring in the same amount of income for the ladies as our jewelry parties, but the ladies get to SEE with their own eyes the excitement over the things that they are making. I am so proud of these ladies and can confidently say that the jewelry keeps blowing my mind as they keep getting better and better and more creative with their unique styles!

We have taken on a few more beaders. One lady came to me in tears, homeless and a mother of five with a nursing baby at her breast. She is now beading everyday and we have been able to get her into a home of her own for six months until she makes enough money to keep up on the rent herself. We have two pregnant women, both 8 months along, both 17 years old and both homeless that we are working on getting a home for so that they are prepared to take care of their newborns. Without shelter and a small income, it is only a matter of time before their babies end up in orphanages! We want to honor the fact that God gave their babies to their mothers and help them raise them as best as they can!

Other news! The Apparent Project will be opening it's school this month! Hooray. This has been a long time coming as we have waited for the finances and the right students to do this with. As it stands, it will be just a morning school, from 8-12 in our garage ( where the women work in the afternoons). We were able to purchase school benches and supplies and were blessed with a donor who is going to be covering the teacher's salary. We have six kids enrolled and will be staying with low numbers for now until we get our feet on the ground. The kids that will be coming are all kids in their early to late teens who haven't been to school in a long time if at all. Most of them are pretty much illiterate. Our goal with them is to teach basic literacy, some English, and French in hopes that after a year or two, they could be reintegrated to the Haitian school system in order to get those much-sought-after papers and diplomas that are so crucial to success in Haiti. If you would like to sponser one fo these kids to help cover the cost of their school supplies, uniform, and the food that we will be feeding them, let us know, it would be a big help and would only help us make this school better for them.

I think that's about it for now. Blessings to you and yours this New Year and I hope that you are full of wonder and delight of what is to come! I know I am!

Empowering Artisans

Saturday was a big day for us. We had a booth at the Quisqueya Christian School Christmas Bazaar. Since most of the jewelry that our artisans make gets flown stateside, our ladies ( and young men too) never get the opportunity first hand to see their jewelry sell. I asked the ladies who might be willing to go with me early and set up and sit there the whole day in the hot sun and sell stuff.. not knowing whether the day might be a sucess or not. They ALL came.. they ALL stayed the whole day. It was wonderful. The booth was a success. We got so many comments about the jewelry, about the purpose behind the jewelry (helping families stay intact and afloat), and we sold a bunch of stuff. It got the ladies so pumped and I just know that it was so honoring to them to have people of clout here in Haiti treat them with respect and dignity. They weren't getting handouts from rich white people and bourgious Haitians.. they were earning their money from their talent and creativity. They were businesswomen! What a refreshing moment for them. I was so very proud of them! Here's to many more moments of dignity and respect!

Thanksgiving and more

Well, we had Thanksgiving two days late, mostly because I forgot about it and didn't take the turkey out of the freezer in time. (Yes I was able to locate a relatively inexpensive Turkey at Megamart and was so pleased that I bought two!) We didn't really have any plans for who would be eating outside of our family, but as usual, people starting trickling in the door as the food was being prepared and it was an honor to ask them to stay for their first ever Thanksgiving meal. Beatrice, who has recently been relocated to another house on account of her battles with domestic violence issues, thanked me profoundly and reminded me how desparate things are here in Haiti when she told me that she wouldn't have otherwise eaten that day. (Nor would her three lovely children seen in the picture here.).

I feel as though my perception of normal keeps getting pushed further and furth off of my North American track. Can you imagine a family not feeding their three children for several days without someone stepping in and helping? And then there's the constant battle of helping verses hurting in terms of empowering and enabling. How do we rescue and still train people to take care of themselves? Can I have people work in our jewelry program and yet not feed them simultaneously? It has to be both. For me it does anyways.

I had several knocks on the gate today. Apparently the word is out that on Rue Dalia #13, there are some white people who want to help families. (that's our address in case I lost you) So, the women are showing up with their babies regularly now. Wanting food, medicine, a job, to give their babies to me and on and on...

I don't say that I can't help them. I ask them to pray for me. Pray that the heavens open up and all the resources and abilities to do all that God intends for me to do here are provided. They tell me that they will pray for me, and that they will pray that I don't forget them. It is hard to know that my limited resources might result in an 11 month old baby crying themselves to sleep hungry tonight. And if I open my eyes and look out over Haiti, all I see is crying babies and hungry children and desparate mothers and fathers. How to withstand the depression and exhaustion of the neverending need and yet still be hopeful and optimistic about what is to come.. what God can do here in this desparate land... that is my dilemma. I wonder what it would be like for it to be me on the other side of my gate. Asking for a little bit of food to give to Keziah or Zebedee. Oh God.. I pray... rain down blessing on this country. Not because of anything ...but simply your mercy. Amen.

Good news all around.

Today I am thankful for much.
The day started out with me taking the new pregnant teenager (whose name happens to be Ketsia- very close to my Keziah!) down to Heartline to give the Fetal Heart Rate monitor a whirl.
When we arrived, they had just had a healthy baby girl born that was only a few hours old. It is precious to see a mommy in a comfortable room with flowers and visitors and clothes and diapers for the baby. These are the kind of things that Heartline is offering women in their women's program- just beautiful. At any rate, Beth McHoul, tired as can be from delivering a baby all night, agreed to come and listen for a baby in Ketsia's belly.
If you haven't read my previous posts, Ketsia has gotten multiple blows to the belly from the not-so-happy father of the baby who is essentially trying to make it go away in any way possible. She also had told us that she was six months along and had never felt the baby move at all. My mood was pensive thinking for sure that we were going to have a tragedy on our hands. After several minutes of searching with the FHR monitor, we heard the joyous gallop of the babies heart beat and momma smiled a big smile. She is homeless and currently estranged from her parents, so it is no surprise that being alone, pregnant, malnourished, dehydrated, and only 18 years old is all a bit much for her- but still she smiled- it was beautiful.
Beth gave us some prenatals and since Ketsia is coming over to the house almost every day to bead, I can make sure she takes them regularly. What a wonderful opportunity to help this woman have the healthiest baby possible, just by giving her a little food and some vitamins every day.

Some more great news.... some of you may remember my post about Jonny and Lovely's mom. She has fully recovered, is also now a part of our beading program, and is doing beautiful work. She beams from ear to ear that she has something productive to do and hopefully in the not to distant future, she can take care of her rent and be able to buy food regularly for her three children again.
Because of the growth in our artisans program, I was so pleased to have to buy new tables today! We have far outgrown my dining room table and we will be setting the garage up as an artisans studio/classroom. My dreams are still big about having a separate house to host a school, teams that come down, and the artisans center.. but with the economy being what it is, I guess we are in close company for a while longer! There are definite benefits to this. The relationships that I am making with the women who come are priceless. The street kids who are always at our home have practicaly become my children. I once had a prophetic word spoken over me that eluded to me being surrounded by many many children. As a woman who has struggled with infertility, it always seemed an almost painful blessing to recieve that word. Today I can see God's hand.. making me not only a mother to my biological and adoptive children, but also to the children all around me. It is a blessing beyond measure. It is what I was created for. I am thankful for it all.